The World Cup is here, but I don’t recommend tuning in just yet. In these initial rounds, nothing is happening. The players measure every movement and are overly cautious. Don’t worry, this world famous tournament will eventually get exciting. Some of these countries are legitimately out of their minds. But, for the time being, all there is to talk about is the vuvuzela.

They look harmless enough, but they’re causing quite the fuss. I can’t imagine why…

Oh right! Maybe it’s the fact that I have a headache, but that horrid little piece of plastic has me cringing. What’s worse is that the radio station I listen to in the morning will occasionally play that sound. Why? Just because. If only they could see me, as well at the other irrate commuters, trying to rip our ears off or initiate a malicious round of bumper cars with the sweet old lady in the Oldsmobile in front of us. Just this morning, after being played yet another clip of vuvuzela blowing, I had an unexplainable urge to make a human sacrifice.

Here’s my stance, plain and simple: GTFO.

I respect that every country has traditions, but even a Bruins fan from Southie at a Habs game isn’t that grating on your eardrums. Hell, even those nasty, greasy Habs fans aren’t as horrible. Yeah, I said it. I would rather rub elbows with a Montreal fan than hear one more second of that shit ass horn. The thing is, other countries traditions aren’t that annoying. Other countries traditions don’t require it’s fans to wear earplugs to avoid irreversable damage.

Some people disagree. BBC sports commentator Farayi Mungazi said the sound of the horn was the “recognized sound of football in South Africa” and is “absolutely essential for an authentic South African footballing experience”.  He also said there was no point in taking the world cup to Africa and then “trying to give it a European feel”. You know what I think of you Mr. Mungazi? I think you’re a masochist. Also? South Africa is already heaviliy influenced by European culture. They’ve produced some of the most famous jazz musicians. Personally, I think being in South Africa is enough to give a South African footballing experience. If your plan is to cause mass suicide though, keep up the good work.